4 “Rules of Effective Communication” to get you talking to anyone
1, want to communicate, we must learn to listen to the “Lu Shi Spring and Autumn annals” said: “private eye blind, private hearing deaf, private thoughts crazy heart.”To see with selfishness will make the eye see nothing;To listen with selfishness is to make the ear hear nothing;Take selfish to consider the problem, will make the heart crazy, completely lose judgment.Learning to listen and hear people out is a sign of high EQ, the first step in effective communication, and a sign of kindness and respect.”The ear is the way to the heart.”The way you listen to each other is a reflection of your love, the interconnectedness of your heart and the blending of your feelings.Mr. Yang Jiang once mentioned the relationship between his parents in his article “Remembering My Father” : My parents seem to be old friends, and we have never heard them fight once since our children were growing up.Old-style couples did not quarrel, but the woman would have grievances in her heart, and the couple did not have much in common, but my parents talked about everything.They talked so much about the past, the present, about themselves, about their relatives and friends, ridiculous, hateful, exasperating, the long conversation of their lives, that it sounded as if they were even reading La Bruyere’s Human Nature and the World.Later, my father resigned to become a lawyer. He would tell my mother in detail about every case he accepted, such as what happened and who was involved.The two of them would analyze and discuss these cases together, which, in retrospect, would complement “Human Nature and Manners” as vivid illustrations.This way of getting along with her husband and wife deeply influenced Yang jiang’s view of choosing a spouse, so much so that she and Qian zhongshu had a lot to say to each other in a lifetime.Yin Benji, Shiji, said, “If you listen to what you say, you advance in what you say.”Listen to the teachings of the elderly, can let us less detours;Listening to a friend can make a friendship stronger over time;Listening to your partner will strengthen your relationship.Learn to listen, in order to get, harvest happy life.To communicate, it is necessary to sincerely communicate, that is, I put you in my heart, with a sincere heart to you.No matter how The Times change, sincerity is the basic requirement of life.Speak with sincerity, do not cheat, do not bother;Speaking with love as the foundation, sincere care for each other, from the perspective of love to express, will be empowering.For example, when their partner comes home late, ordinary people will grimace and say, “It’s 11 o ‘clock, how did you come back?Do you still have me, do you still have this family?Say, with whom?What have you been doing?The partner who can communicate will smile and say gently: Honey, it is so late to come back, must be out for entertainment, I am worried about you.You for our family, so hard, so hard, I love you dearly.The next time you do this, just give me a heads up, okay?Which do you think your partner would like to hear?Napoleon said, “He who can control his temper is greater than a general who can take a city.”Emotional instability, the heart can not say, listen to the truth, the expression of the content is misinterpreted is common.If you want to communicate effectively, you need to focus on the result, not the emotion. You can get twice the result with half the effort by starting from the heart.People are mutual, can care about each other, will be cared about.3, communication, respect each other to chat with an education worker, he said: “I received a lot of parents’ phone, the general idea is similar: teacher, please communicate with our children, we say what he does not listen to, he only listen to you, you must help me take care of him.After work, I couldn’t help thinking, what makes father and daughter communicate through a third party?””I’d give you my heart if you’d listen,” said one devoted parent.His son choked up and shouted: I don’t want your heart, I just want to break free from your control, I want to feel the temperature of the outside world, even if my head is broken and bleeding, I also want to really belong to their own life!It is true that a child is an extension of the life of his parents, but he is also an independent individual, and you can expect him and advise him, but you can not control him and command him.Many parents said: “I do this for his good ah, this major is easy to find a job, study abroad is a must, home also arranged for him to practice…And what children hate most is when their parents, in the name of being good for them, help them make big and small choices in life, from whether the train ticket home is a hard seat or a sleeper, to whether the wedding partner is Zhang SAN’s daughter or Li Si’s niece.Parents’ favorite son, is far-reaching.Children can be guided, but not forced;Can suggest, but can not veto;You can shelter, but you can’t seal it off.Some storms, is his life must go through;There are some twists and turns that he must experience in life;Some growth, he stumbled after a little bit of accumulation.Trust your child and give him the right to walk alone.When he was a child, you were his whole life.When he was young, he needed your broad arms and strong hands.When you grow up, be quietly a spectator of his life.Respect his voice, respect his choice, respect the wind, frost and snow in his life.Effective communication starts with respect.4, understand the communication, the perspective-taking logic thinking, co-founder of take off not to spend, to meet the future own CTO (chief technology officer) cut tsing yi, a sharp knife tsing yi is your own business, also understand that couldn’t spend in Europe, but he’s not going to give up his own business, so, he and can’t chat, in your full invoice table at sixes and sevens.Taofuhua sat and watched him quietly, then took leave.The next day, He called Sharp Knife Qingyi and told him: “You come and start a business with us. I promise that as long as I am here, you will never touch finance, legal affairs, industry and commerce, tax affairs.”Swift Tsing Yi hesitated for half a minute and promised to come down.You know what a tech guy’s pain point is, and with one word, you get the CTO she wants.Everyone has his own situation and identity.Communicate with the elderly, do not forget his self-esteem;Communicate with a man, don’t forget his face;When communicating with a woman, don’t forget her emotions;Communicate with your superior and don’t forget his majesty;Communicate with youth, don’t forget his directness;Communicate with your child and don’t forget his innocence.Understand empathy, stand in the perspective of the other side to consider the problem, do not let go of any details, this behavior reflects your education, show your quality, but also can let you accurately, quickly understand the true thoughts of the other side of the heart.An attitude to the world, must be blocked everywhere;Tailor the suit to each man.Some people say: the most ideal relationship, is the temperament of mutual admiration, mutual communication, world view in harmony with each other.May every person have such relatives and friends in their life. If not, may you be such a person.